Looking Through Her Violet Eyes
by It'sXakiNyeh
Summary: This is the intro to "Looking Through Her Violet Eyes". It follows Satoshi Fujioka, Haruhi's easily distracted and daring younger twin sister. Hope you enjoy !
1. Info

Hey, I'm the one and only Satoshi Fujioka. Yes, I know my name is most common among guys but I happen to be a girl! Take that logic! Bet you can tell my family by my name, huh? Haruhi's my older twin sister. We look almost exactly the same except my hair is a bit longer and my eyes- well, eye- is a different colour. A violet tinted blue kinda colour. Cool right? Not to mention the fact that I lost my left eye so I cover it up with some bandages and my bangs hang over it. I'm a bit more random than Haruhi, which comes in handy sometimes (gets me out of trouble). I love to sing and can form my voice to many different pitches. When I talk, I sorta mix some words together, mostly words like "kind of" and "out of". Some say it's endearing. But about certain things, I have a bit of a tendency to tilt my head a bit and look to the left, mostly stuff that makes me uncomfortable or upset. I have a HUGE sweet tooth. Yeah I don't wanna talk anymore. Bye.


	2. Chapter 1: Starting Today You're Hosts!

~Starting Today, You Two Are Hosts!~

(Satoshi's POV)

Four libraries and not one of them is suitable for studying.

"Hey, Haru-chan?" I ask slightly sad.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that... Mom... is happy wherever she is?" I tilt my head slightly and look to the left a bit.

"Yeah, I bet she is." she says understandingly.

"I'm gonna try my hardest at this school to make her happy! Yeah!" I jump slightly making Haruhi look at me. "But... seeing as that there's no where for us to study... Guess we'll have to do it later!" I take one step and bolt out running.

"Satoshi! Wait!"

"Never!" I say, not two seconds before running head on into a large door.

When she catches up with me, I stay laying there. On the pink floor.

"I told you to wait." she says attempting to hold back laughter.

"Even the ceilings are pink." I say, ignoring her comment.

I look at the sign above the door that I ran into.

"Music Room 3? Must be abandoned or something." I mumble.

"An abandoned music room?" she asks. Then mumbles something about studying in peace.

When she opens the door...

"Welcome."

We find the Host Club.

"What the-" I say confused.

"T-this is a host club?" Haruhi asks, backed up against the door.

"Oh wow, they're boys." says a pair of familiar looking red-headed twins.

"Boys?" I whisper to myself. _This should be fun..._ I smirk to myself.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe these young men are in the same class as you." says a tall boy with glasses.

"Yeah, but they're shy and they don't act very sociably, so we don't much about them." The twins respond.

Glasses gives a small chuckle then says "Well, that wasn't very polite." then he looks to me and Haruhi, "Welcome to the Host club, Mr. Honor Students." and I know, his light bulb is on.

"What?! You must be Haruhi and Satoshi Fujioka! You're the exceptional honor students we've heard about." says a tall blond boy while Haruhi desperately tries to open the door.

"How did you know our names?" Haruhi and I ask.

"Why, you're infamous. It's not everyday that a commoner gains entrance into our academy." says Glasses.

I slouch forward a bit and can feel as if the word "commoner" appears above my head.

"You must have an audacious nerve to fight your way into this school as honor students." he continues.

That's when "audacious" appears over Haruhi. So, we're audacious commoners?

"Well, uh, thank you I guess." Haruhi says, trying to be polite. I just stand there.

"You're welcome!" says Blondie. "You two are heroes to other poor people! You've shown the world that ever a poor person can excel at an elite private academy!" he says an arm wrapped around Haruhi.

She moves to the side to evade his, well, weirdness.

"It must be hard for you to be constantly looked down upon by others."

"I think you're taking this 'poor' thing a bit too far..." she says, slightly annoyed.

"Spurned, neglected, but that doesn't matter now! Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor men, to our world," he pauses to throw his arms into the air, "Of beauty!"

"I'm out of here..." Haruhi mumbles.

"Yeah, you people are weird..." I mutter.

"You can talk?" asks one of the red-heads.

"I've had no need to say anything. So, I didn't." I reply simply.

"Heeeey~! Come back here, Haru-chan, Sato-chan!" says the little blond boy, grabbing my arm gently, "You two must be like superheroes or something! That's so cool!"

"We aren't heroes, we're just honor students." we explain, "AND WHO'RE YOU CALLING HARU/SATO-CHAN?!" we shout.

"I never imagined the famous scholars would be so openly gay." says Blondie.

"Openly what?" I mumble to myself.

"So, tell me what kind of guys you two are into!" Blondie exclaims. "Do you like the strong, silent type?" the tallest boy looks over at us, "The boy-lolita?" the little blond looks at us, "How about the mischievous type?" the twins look at us, their arms linked, "Or the cool type?" Glasses looks at us.

"I-it's not like that! We were just looking for a place to study!" We say, walking backwards nervously.

"Or maybe... You're into a guy like me? What do you say?" he puts a hand under Haruhi's chin and she jumps back. He mirrors the action with me and I freak out. I punch him in the jaw and step backwards quickly.

Haruhi and I don't realize that the stands we bumped into have expensive vases on them until it's too late.

"Aw! We were going to feature those renaissance vases at the upcoming school auction!" whines one of the twins.

"Oh, now you've done it commoners! The bidding on them was supposed to start at eight million yen, each!" whines the other.

"What?!" I shout. "That's..."

"Sixteen million yen?!" Haruhi asks.

I stand there shocked and Haruhi starts mumbling.

"We're gonna have to pay you back..." I say nervously.

"With what money? You guys can't even afford school uniforms!" the twins point out.

"Way to twist the knife..." I mutter.

"What's with that grubby outfit you two have on anyway?"

"They're hand-me-downs." I say. "We couldn't go school shopping in time so..."

Glasses picks up a piece of one of the vases. "Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?"

"There's a famous saying you may have heard, Fujioka boys." whoa, sudden change in attitude Blondie, "'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.' Since you have no money, you can pay with your bodies. That means starting today, you two are the Host Club's dogs!"

Haruhi and I go pale and she collapses to the side.

I look at them slowly regaining colour and without saying anything else say, "Woof..." and look down.

During the Host Club, the girls are chatting it up with them guys, while I'm waiting for Haruhi to return with the shopping. Man, I hope she's alright... What if she got mugged?

"AH! Haruhi doesn't know a thing about defense!" I shout.

Everyone turns to me and I apologize weakly.

"You seem worried." Haruhi laughs.

"Haru-chan! You're okay!" I say relieved.

"What is this? I've never seen this brand before." Tamaki says confused.

"Here." I say and read it slowly. "Instant coffee."

"I've heard of this! It's commoners' coffee! You just add hot water!"

I walk away and sit down while everyone goes on and on about the coffee. I put on my headphones and turn on a personal favourite song, "Secret" by Megurine Luka.

I sing along with the lyrics "I don't know if I'm a boy, I don't know if I'm a girl." Quite fitting for recent events.

Later, I start walking around and stop by the twins' table.

"So, he had this nightmare that made him bolt up right out of bed!" Hikaru laughs.

"Hikaru, don't tell them that story! I asked you not to tell anyone that!" Kaoru whines, "Why are you so mean to me?"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I didn't mean to upset you. You were so adorable when it happened that I had to tell them. I'm sorry." Hikaru says, holding his face mere inches away from his brother's.

"I forgive you..." Kaoru whispers softly.

The girls squeal. I turn to the side and think, _Twincest, nice touch boys._

Then I walk over next to Hunny and Mori's table.

"Sorry... We're running late..." Hunny says sleepily.

"Hello Hunny. Hey Mori." says one girl.

"We've been waiting here for you guys. Hi!" says another.

"I was waiting for Takashi to finish his kendo meeting and I fell asleep. And I'm still not... Completely awake..." Hunny says slouching a bit and rubbing his eyes.

"SO CUTE!" the girls squeal.

"Is he really a third year?" Haruhi asks.

I just shrug, "I guess."

"Hunny-senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy." Kyoya says walking up next to me and Haruhi. "And then Mori-senpai's allure is as strong and silent as position."

"HARU-CHAN! SATO-CHAN! You wanna have some cake with me?!" Hunny asks as he spins Haruhi and me each in turn.

"Thanks, but, I don't really like cake." Haruhi says, dizzily.

"Then how would you like to hold my bunny, Usa-chan?" he asks cutely.

"I'm not into bunnies."

"Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Hunny asks on the brink of tears.

"I guess he is kinda cute, huh?" and Hunny's light bulb lit... for Haruhi. I haven't been figured out yet.

Now, I have to admit that Usa-chan is adorable.

"Hey, Hunny-senpai?" I ask.

"Yeah, Sato-chan?"

"Can I take up that offer for cake sometime?" I say with a large smile.

"Sure you can, Sato-chan!" he laughs sweetly.

"Yay!" I say and I throw my arms up in the air and giggle slightly.

Hunny heard me and now, he knows.

"Take good care of him!" He shouts to Haruhi, referring to Usa-chan.

"You'll notice our club uses each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests." Kyoya explains. "Just so you know Tamaki is number one around here. He's the king. His request rate is seventy percent."

"What's this world coming to?" Haruhi asks.

"Seriously..." I say.

"And in order for you two to pay off your sixteen million yen debt with us, you will both act as the Ouran Host Club's dogs until you graduate. I'm sorry, I mean our errand boys. You can try to run if you want to but, just so you know, my family employs a private police force of one hundred officers."

I look at him blankly.

"By the way, do you have passports?"

Meaning: You won't want to stay in Japan...

"You're going to have to work hard to pay of that debt," Tamaki says sliding up behind Haruhi, "My little nerd." he gently blows a bit of air onto the back of Haruhi's neck.

"Please, don't do that again." she says after she jumps forward.

"Don't harass my twin." I say bluntly.

"You two need a makeover or no girl's going look twice at you."

"Well, we're not trying to get girls to look at us." we reply.

"Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing! You have to learn to be gentlemen and please the ladies. Like me." he says all sparkly and stuff with a red rose.

"No." I say. "It's not important. Caring about appearances and labels is stupid."

"What she means is, isn't it what's on the inside that counts anyways?" Haruhi says.

"It's a cruel reality, isn't it?" he says, "It's not often that God creates a person like moi, beautiful on the inside and out."

"Say what?" Haruhi asks.

"I understand how you feel, not everyone is as blessed as I am. But you must console yourself otherwise how could you go on living?"

Haruhi and I start whispering amongst each other.

"There's a word that describes people like him." Haruhi whispers.

"Stupid?"

"No."

"Annoying?"

"It means that but more... Pain in the neck?"

"That's a phrase not a word." I laugh quietly.

"Got it!" We say together.

"Oh, did I strike a cord?" he asks.

"Obnoxious!"

Tamaki goes pale and sits in a corner.

"I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai." Haruhi says.

"I'm not." I laugh, "That was priceless!"

"You two are heroes all right!" the twins say both laying a hand on my head.

"He IS a pain in the ass." I mumble.

"I'm sorry senpai, but your lesson did strike a small cord with me." Haruhi says.

Tamaki stands up and turns back to us, "Really? It did? Let me teach you more!"

"Got over that fast." I say.

"Boss-"

"Call me 'king'."

"You can teach them the basics of hosting-" Kaoru starts.

"But they're not going to get very far if they don't look the part, you know. They're not exactly Host Club material but... Maybe if we took off their glasses it would help." Hikaru finishes. Kaoru takes off Haruhi's glasses and Hikaru takes off mine.

Hikaru asks, "Why do you wear glasses if you cover up one of your eyes?"

"I'm blind in my left eye and we had contacts but lost them on the first day." I say.

Tamaki takes a look at us, snaps, and gives out a bunch of commands to everyone.

"W-wait! What're you doin'?!" I shout as I feel myself being dragged away.

The twins drag me and Haruhi to a make-shift changing room.

"Here, put on these." They hold out school uniforms.

"But why?!" I shout.

"Don't ask questions!" they respond.

"Fine, but you two," I point to them, "Out."

Then, without an answer, I kick them out. Literally.

Two more light bulbs are now on.

After a lot of makeover-ness, me and Haruhi remain in the changing room.

"Um, senpai?" Haruhi asks.

"Aren't you done changing yet?" he responds.

"Are you sure it's okay for us to keep these uniforms?" we ask as we open the curtain.

"Cute. You two are as pretty as girls! Adorable!" he says gushing over our new looks.

I whisper to myself, "Wonder why..."

"Haru-chan, Sato-chan! You look so cute!" Hunny exclaims.

"If we would've known that's how you really looked-" starts Hikaru.

"We would've helped you out a lot sooner!" Kaoru finishes.

"Who knows? Maybe they'll draw in some customers." Kyoya states.

"You know? That's just what I was thinking." Tamaki lies.

"Liar." I say bluntly. Either he's ignoring my comment or just didn't hear me.

"Our errand boys are moving up the ranks." he points at us. "Starting today you are official members of the Host Club. I will personally train you both to be first rate hosts. If you can get one hundred customers to request you, we'll completely forget about your sixteen million yen debt."

"Hosts?" I ask.

"So, tell me, Haruhi, do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do? What about you Satoshi?" asks one girl.

"What products do you use on your skin? It's so pretty!" says another.

"Satoshi, what happened to your eye?" asks another.

"Why did you join the Host Club?" asks our entire group of visitors.

What do I do?! What do I say?!

"Uh, well..." Haruhi and I look at each other and nod. We have the perfect story.

"I see, your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago... Who does the chores around the house?" asks one girl.

"We do." I say. "Our mother was a great cook and Haruhi inherited that trait."

"She left us lots of great recipes and it was fun to create each dish. Especially when they turned out well. It made us happy to see our dad enjoy it."

"We've had a hard childhood, but, we've managed to make it through okay." I smile at the girls.

"So uh..." says girl one.

"Is it okay if..." says girl two.

"We request to sit with you again?" asks girl three.

"Sure! I'd really appreciate that, ladies!" Haruhi says happily.

"That would be awesome!" I shout. "I-I mean, thanks."

(Host Club [narrator] POV)

"Why are they so popular?" asks Tamaki, looking over at the brunette twins.

"They're naturals." says Kyoya.

"No training needed." the twins say together.

"Even that slip up Satoshi made had the girls head over heels." Hikaru points out.

"Have you forgotten about me?" says a very impatient red haired blue blood.

"Oh no. Sorry, princess, I'm just a little bit concerned about our newest hosts." he says fancily.

"Well, that's obvious, Tamaki. You sure have been keeping an eye on them."

"Of course, I have to. I'm training them to be gentlemen like me." Tamaki snaps his fingers and calls, "Haruhi, Satoshi, come here for a minute."

(Satoshi's POV)

"What's up?" Haruhi asks.

"You called?" I ask.

"I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, princess Ayanakoji."

She looks familiar.

"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Haruhi says politely.

"Your hair is very red." Haruhi elbows me in the side, "I mean, it's my pleasure, miss."

I expect what's coming and I step back to avoid the traumatic event of being glomped by Tamaki.

Haruhi calls out for help from Mori and another light bulb turns on.

"Come on little ones! Let daddy give you a big hug!" Tamaki says.

"No. We have a dad. We don't need another one." I say bluntly.

Haruhi and I are standing by a large window.

"Hey, what happened to my bag?" she asks.

"Uh, Haru-chan..." I say pointing at the pond outside.

She looks outside, "Are you kidding me? But... How did that happen?"

"I dunno, Haru-chan. I didn't think there were bullies at this school." I sigh.

"Hm. Guess they're everywhere." she says, annoyed.

"Yeah. Guess so. Oh no!" I shout.

"What?" she asks concerned.

"Our wallets were in your bag. I kept mine with yours so I didn't lose it!"

We run through the halls and we end up passing Ayanakoji. I now remember her. She's the one who I believe is jealous of Haruhi for getting so much attention.

"Oh, it's you again." she says, "I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though, you two are always going to be second class citizens." she then walks away.

"Well then..." I mumble.

We continue on down to the pond. When we get there we get the majority of Haruhi's stuff out of the water. What can we _not_ find? Wallets. Meaning: food money.

"I have a feeling that girl's the one who did this."

"Yeah but we can't be bothered with her at the moment. We've gotta find our wallets or we won't have any money for food this week..." I sigh.

"Hey, commoners." I hear Tamaki's voice call out, "You've got some nerve skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet?" he asks.

"It's no big deal. We got it." Haruhi says.

"We just can't find our food money..." I say.

We hear a splash and see Tamaki joined us in the pond.

"Hey, you don't have to do that." Haruhi says.

"Yeah, you'll get soaked." I say.

"A little water never hurt anyone." he smiles a bit, "Besides, people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks."

Haruhi looks at him. Completely shocked. I look from him to her and back to him. I can see it. There's definitely going to be something there someday.

"Oh, hang on a second. These what you're looking for?" he asks with a wink as he holds out our wallets.

I smile and nod.

He walks over to Haruhi and says, "What's the matter? You're staring of into space. You're not falling for me, are you?"

I laugh as Haruhi snatches the wallets with a quick, "No way!"

"How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?" he asks.

"Well, uh, I guess I accidentally dropped it out the window at some point." she lies.

"Oh really? That must've been terrible." says Ayanakoji. "I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond."

Okay, I know that eavesdropping is wrong but I don't like Ayanakoji. She is a suspicious character to me. The twins sneak up behind me and I jump slightly.

"What are you doing Satoshi?" they ask.

"Keeping an eye on that Ayanakoji girl. She bothers me and I don't like the way she seems to be plottin' something against Haruhi." I mumble.

They walk away for a moment and come back with two jugs of water.

"What's the water for?" I ask.

"She bothers you, right?"

I nod.

"Then, if she does something-" starts Kaoru.

"We've got it covered!" Hikaru finishes with a smirk.

I go back to listening to Ayanakoji talk to Haruhi.

"You do realize he's a blue blood not a commoner, right? The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman. Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

I gasp, "I get it now."

"Hm?" the twins ask.

"She's jealous." not two seconds after I say that, Haruhi says it to her.

Ayanakoji goes to slap Haruhi, but Haruhi stand up to avoid getting hit. Unfortunately, Haruhi stands up a bit to close to the table and knocks it over. This causes her to trip, eventually making it look like she forced herself onto Ayanakoji.

Ayanakoji screams, "No Haruhi! Leave me alone! Somebody help! He just attacked me! Someone do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"

Haruhi stays there, confused and worried. I take a step forward to help Haruhi stand up. Too late did I realize the twins had just started to pour the water. Dousing me, Haruhi, and (for the better) Ayanakoji.

"Why did you do that?" Ayanakoji snarls at the twins.

Tamaki helps up Ayanakoji.

"Do something, Tamaki. Haruhi just assaulted me." she says.

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?" Tamaki asks.

"Y-you don't know that! Do you have any proof that I did?" she asks worried.

"You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear." he says, "If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man."

"But... Why, Tamaki? You idiot!" she shouts and then runs from the club room. Never to return.

Tamaki turns to me and Haruhi, "Now, how am I going to punish you? Since it is your fault after all. Your quota is now one thousand!"

"O-one thousand?" She asks.

"Come on," he says holding out a hand to help her up, "I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie." he winks.

"Eh?" she mumbles.

"These are the only spare uniforms we have. Sorry, but they're better than wet ones, right?" Kyoya says holding out a bag.

"Thanks a lot, you guys." Haruhi says.  
"We're gonna go change." I say. "But ya know, if the twins had better aim, we wouldn't havta." then I glare at the twins.

They look at me, shocked.

"Just kiddin'." I laugh.

Haruhi and I start taking off the uniforms tops we had on, leaving her in a light pink tank top and me in a light purple one.

"Haruhi, Satoshi. Here you go, I brought you some towels." Tamaki says opening the curtain seeing me and Haruhi in the tank tops.

He quickly closes the curtain, and the last light bulb is lit.

"So... You two are girls?" he asks slowly.

"Biologically speakin'." I say.

Haruhi and I exit the changing room and Tamaki freaks out when he sees us, mostly Haruhi, in the yellow dress.

"Listen senpai, we don't really care if you guys recognize us as boys or girls-" Haruhi starts.

"We've always thought that what's on the inside matters more. We'd rather be recognized for who we are not by our gender." I finish.

"Well, isn't this an interesting development?" Kyoya says knowingly.

He knew it from the start.

"Oh yeah." the twins smirk.

Everyone else figured it out along the way.

"You know, I have to say senpai. I thought you were pretty cool earlier." Haruhi smiles.

He blushes a deep red slowly backing up.

"And you guys!" I point to Hikaru and Kaoru, "Nice choice with the water! That was hilarious! You guys made my day right there!"

Kaoru smiles and Hikaru joins Tamaki. Blushing and slowly backing up.

"Now, I could be wrong, but I think we could be witnessing the beginnings of love here." Kyoya says.

Haruhi and I look to each other.

"Being hosts and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad." Haruhi says.

"I wonder how we could pull it off though." I say.

Hikaru and Tamaki stare at us, jaws dropped in disbelief.

"Got it!" Haruhi and I say, "We'll just call everyone 'dude' and 'bro' now!" we say sweetly. To top it off we add a small giggle.


	3. Chapter 2: The Job of a High School Host

~The Job of a High School Host!~

Haruhi and I are studying in the library. Well, Haruhi is studying, I'm munching on some candy, listening to music, and leaning back in my chair. I look at the clock and jump so much that my chair falls with a loud SLAM!

"Satoshi! Are you alright?!" Haruhi asks worried.

"Haruhi! Time! Go! Host Club!" I say and start running. "We'll never hear the end of it if we're late!"

We get to the club room and open the door to find...

Tropical paradise.

"What the hell's goin' on?" I ask. I think to myself, _Can you see this from heaven, mom? This is the club me and Haru-chan were forced to join..._

"You finally made it. You're so late." the twins say.

"I could be wrong, but my calendar still says its early spring." Haruhi mumbles.

"Huddling under a kotatsu table fearing the cold is nonsense! Besides, the heating system we have is," Tamaki pauses in his sentence, "the best!"

I groan softly.

"Do you have a problem with the way we run our club? Be careful what you say, you owe us sixteen million yen, remember?" Kyoya smirks.

"Gentlemen don't bundle up in bulky clothing." Tamaki says dramatically. "It may be chilly early spring out there in the real world but here at the club we want to surprise our chilly little kittens with a warm tropical paradise. Oh yes! We've turned this place into Nirvana! A balmy, tropical island of everlasting summer!"

"That's funny because I feel a massive chill right now." Haruhi says.

I laugh. "Good one."

Tamaki goes on about his Balinese king outfit but being no more than a slave to his goddess, being the guest. Wow... Fancy.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot to mention to you ladies. Next week the Ouran Host Club is sponsoring a party." he says.

"We're throwing a party?" Haruhi asks.

"Huh? Are we really?" I ask.

I look over at the twins' table.

"What kind of party is it going to be?" asks one of their guests.

"Is it going to be a formal?" asks another.

"Yes. In fact, we've rented the school's largest hall." Hikaru says leaning on his chair.

"It's the perfect place for dancing." Kaoru says, lazily leaning his head on the back of his hand.

"But I _really_ wanted to spend some alone time with you, Kaoru." Hikaru says in a rather seductive manner.

"Don't be upset, Hikaru, I know exactly how you feel..." Kaoru says softly.

I stand talking with Haruhi and Kyoya.

"The guests seem to be even more worked up than they usually are." Haruhi points out.

"Showing some skin proves popular with the ladies." Kyoya says, matter-of-factly.

"So, are you the one who came up with this 'tropical paradise' theme?" I ask.

"I have no decision making authority. All the club's policies have been laid out by the club's king, Tamaki." He pushes his glasses up slightly with a knowing smile, "But, I guess there's no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Bali photo book onto his desk."

_Slick move, Shadow King. So you ARE the brains here, huh?_ I think to myself.

"Tada!" Hunny says at his table, popping up with a Balinese lei.

"Oh, you're so cute, Hunny!" the girls shout.

"Hi ladies! I love these Balinese flowers! We had them flown in!" he spots Mori, "Takashi!" he says happily. He climbs up Mori like he was a tree and puts a lei around his neck. "There. We match!"

The girls obviously like this little show seeing as that one has fainted and the other is trying to help her wake back up. I wonder about those two.

"Um... Haruhi, Satoshi?" asks one of our guests.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the other boys?"

"I'd like to see that." points out one girl.

"Oh, uh, no actually." I say nervously.

"We just don't think it's appropriate to wear anything but early spring attire in early spring." Haruhi says cautiously holding her hands up, almost like she was surrendering.

"Ya know?" I say.

I remember the boys showing us the outfits they had picked out for us. Haruhi's was an identical female version of Tamaki's and mine? A weird female version of the twins'.

_"Come on, Satoshi! Here's your outfit!" the twins say, holding out a tropical dress._

_ "No. Way. Get that away from me you morons." I say bluntly._

"Wow, you guys are really faithful to the different seasons aren't you?" says one guest.

"I think that's great! I hope that the cherry blossoms will be in full bloom on the night of the party!" says another.

"Us dancing underneath the cherry blossoms... It's so dreamy!" says another.

"Ya really think so?" I ask.

"You know ladies; I think it's so cute when you dream like that." Haruhi smiles.

"And did ya know you make the cutest faces when you daydream?" I ask with a smile.

Another girl walks up to Haruhi and says, "Excuse me. I hate to disturb, but I think it's time for the hosts to switch clients."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must be my next appointment. Miss..." Haruhi trails off.

"My name's Kanako. Kanako Kasugasaki. You're even cuter than I expected. I've decided, you're going to be my new favourite host, Haruhi." she smiles.

Tamaki overhears this and freaks out.

"Hey, boss. Why don't you stop eating that commoner's ramen and come over here to help us with the party planning?" Hikaru says slightly annoyed.

"Does it really bother you that princess Kasuga has taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kaoru asks.

"He shouldn't be surprised. She's had the illness for a while now, hasn't she?" Kyoya asks.

"Illness?" I ask.

"She's got the Host Hopping Disease." Hikaru states, moving behind Kyoya.

"AKA the Never the Same Boy Twice Disease." Kaoru mirrors his brother in actions.

"Usually our guests choose a favourite host and see them regularly. However, princess Kanako tends to change her favourite. On a regular basis." Kyoya says plainly.

"That's right, because before she was with you, she was with Tama-chan." Hunny points out.

"Oh. So, he's upset because I took her from him?" Haruhi asks annoyed.

"SHUT UP! I COULDN'T CARE LESS!" Tamaki shouts, "I'm running out of patience! Haruhi! Satoshi! It's time you started dressing like girls!"

"Huh?" Haruhi mumbles.

"I don't understand how you two can be so popular with the ladies when you yourselves are ladies!" he shouts.

"It's called 'good with people'." I say bluntly. "It comes with some people's personality. Understand now Blondie?" I hear Hikaru and Kaoru laugh and I smile to myself.

He ignores my comment, "No one else in the entire school knows the truth except for those of us here!"

"Yeah, they opted out of taking gym classes." Hikaru says, standing behind Tamaki with his left arm partially raised and his right behind his back.

"I didn't opt out. I'm not allowed to. It's 'dangerous' because I can't see." I state, slightly annoyed.

"And the attendance numbers are all mixed together so no one can tell." says Kaoru, mirroring his brother.

Tamaki brings out a big chest marked "King's Private Property" and pulls out pictures of me and Haruhi in middle school.

"That's enough girls. Now you listen to daddy. Daddy wants you two to go back to the way you were before!" he says crying.

"Don't go blowing up our pictures without asking us first!" Haruhi and I shout.

"The more I look at this picture, the more amazed I am." Hikaru states plainly.

"How could this turn into that?" Kaoru asks. From long haired girls to short haired boy looks.

"The day before school started some neighborhood kid got gum in my hair. It's a pain to get gum out of long hair so I cut it all off." Haruhi explains.

"What about you, Satoshi?" Hikaru asks.

"Well, I never liked having really long hair, so when Haruhi cut hers, I took the opportunity to cut mine. When dad asked, I used the same excuse as Haruhi." I laugh a bit, "It helped that me being random kept getting dad distracted while we were explaining. Who cares if we looked like dudes?"

"A girl should never refer to herself as a dude! Momma! Haruhi and Satoshi are using those dirty boy words again!" Tamaki cries.

"I'm sorry but who's 'momma'?" Kaoru asks.

"Based on club positions, I assume it's me." Kyoya says.

"Look, I don't see why you're so upset. Working as hosts we can pay off more of our debt. It'll never happen if we're just errand boys." Haruhi explains.

"Hate to change the subject, but do you have formal dancing experience? You'll need it at the party." Hikaru explains.

"I do. But Haruhi..." I mumble.

"Uh... No. But the party doesn't have anything to do with our quota, right?" Haruhi says nervously.

"We're not interested in events so if we could be excused-" I start to say but get interrupted.

"Definitely not. A refined gentleman must know how to dance. If you want to live the life of hosts that badly, you're going to have to show us how far you two are willing to go. I order you to master dancing the waltz in one week. And you will demonstrate it for us at the party." Tamaki points at us, "Or I'll tell the entire school that you're girls and move you two back down to errand boys."

Today, Haruhi is learning to dance the waltz. Princess Kanako is teaching her. I'm sitting at a table eating some candy and other sugary foods.

"Hey Satoshi." says one of my ginger companions, Hikaru.

"How are you?" says Kaoru.

"Good. And you guys? How are ya?" I smile.

They slide into the other chairs at the table.

"We're pretty good. Thanks." They smile back at me.

"So, why did princess Kanako-" Kaoru start.

"Only choose Haruhi?" Hikaru finishes.

"You two _are_ identical." Kaoru points out.

"Yeah, but Haruhi has prettier eyes than me. And two of them. Plus her speech isn't as mixed as mine." I say.

"What do you mean? Your eye colour is really pretty." Kaoru states.

"I've never seen that shade of blue before." Hikaru says.

"And the way you talk is cute."

"When you mix your words together it's really innocent and endearing."

I tilt my head and look to the left. "Other people always tell me Haruhi is prettier than me. I understand how."

They look at me sadly and suddenly I see a hand extended towards me. It's Hikaru's. I look at him, unsure.

"Just trust me." he says.

I take his hand and he pulls me up and we start dancing.

"Why am I staging the girl?" I ask.

"You're too short for everyone who isn't busy." Hikaru laughs.

I look down, making sure that I'm not stepping on him. His hand goes beneath my chin and tilts my head up.

"Don't look down. Always keep eye contact with your dance partner." he smiles.

I nod, forcing away the small blush that tinges my cheeks.

After a bit he spins me around to face Kaoru and I dance with him for a moment. When we're done and sitting again they grin at me.

"So, who danced better?" they asked.

"Neither. You both were great. Hikaru goes more with the beat of the music and dances freely and Kaoru is very sophisticated and elegant." I say bluntly.

(Hikaru's POV)

Wow. She could pin point the differences between me and Kaoru. No one's ever been able to do that before. No one...

(Satoshi's POV)

I begin to think that I had upset the twins until their blank stares turn to big grins.

I tune in to hear what Haruhi and Kanako are talking about.

"Not really! I mean, no of course I'm not! Whatever would give you that idea?" Kanako asks nervously.

I look over to realize that she, Kyoya, and Haruhi were talking about the tea set.

"Wow, they do have a lovely colour. Very beautiful shade of green." I mumble.

I don't realize that anyone heard me until the twins look at me confused. I point to the tea set and they just nod.

The door opens and I hear, "Hello? I'm here with the new teacups you ordered."

"Ah. Thank you very much." Kyoya says, "Every item you've chosen for us has been extremely popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed."

"Well, that's good to hear." he smiles.

I go over and stand next to Kyoya and Haruhi.

"So, do you sell tea sets?" Haruhi asks.

"No, I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?" says the boy.

Kanako starts laughing, "Oh Haruhi. You're so funny. I can't blame you for not knowing. After all, he doesn't really look like an heir to a first class company."

"First class company?" Haruhi questions.

"It says on the box, 'Suzushima'. It's a trading company, isn't it?" I ask.

Kyoya looks at me, almost surprised that I know that.

"Hey, I know some stuff. Used to have a friend whose uncle bought from 'Suzushima'." I tilt my head and look down to the left, hitting an uncomfortable subject.

Kyoya continues on what he was saying, "His family's business, the Suzushima Trading Company, deals primarily in the importing tableware. They currently have the top market share in the country."

"Wow." Haruhi exclaims.

"So, whenever something exceptional comes in, we've asked them to send it our way. He has a great eye for fine china. Don't you, Suzushima?"

"I noticed that. Everything in the club is really pretty. Wonderful colours and designs." I smile.

He snaps out of his daze, "You think? I've still got a lot to learn. But, thank you." he smiles.

"Aren't you leaving next month to study abroad in England?" Kyoya asks.

"Yes, I am." says Suzushima. "Well, I'd better go now."

I've taken notice to the fact that through our entire conversation with Suzushima, Kanako has been in a bit of a daze. Sort of upset.

"So, are you enjoying the Host Club?" Tamaki asks her, breaking her daze.

"I get the feeling you and that guy are close." Haruhi says.

Kanako jumps and starts freaking out, "Don't be ridiculous! We hardly know each other! What makes you say that Haruhi?"

Kanako stands up and starts walking out the door, "Now, If you'll excuse me. Take care."

When she's gone I look to Kyoya. "There's something going on there."

Hunny jumps onto Haruhi's back, "Haru-chan! Guess what? They _do_ know each other! Suzushima is Kasuga-chan's fiancé!"

Tamaki crosses his arms, "Kyoya, how long have you known about this?"

"About the two of them being engaged? Well, as you know I conduct general searches on all of our customers. The two of them were childhood friends, it seems their engagement was arranged by their parents. I didn't think the information would benefit us, so I disregarded it." Kyoya says looking in his black notebook that he always has.

"I see." Tamaki slouches a bit.

"Toru Suzushima. Outstanding grades, fair social status. He's ordinary looking, but he's reliable. If I had to fault him for anything. Kyoya states.

The twins step up next to Kyoya.

"He doesn't have much presence." Hikaru says.

"And he's faint-hearted." Kaoru points out.

"So, in other words. He's boring." Kyoya says.

"You boys are merciless towards other guys. Just cruel." I say.

"Suzushima is a good boy, right?" Hunny asks.

"Yeah." Mori replies.

"Alright everyone. We'll have to work on our strategy." Tamaki steps in.

"Which one?" we all ask.

"Men, it is our responsibility , as members of the elite Ouran Host Club, to make every girl happy!" he shouts.

"The night of the party... Man, I hope I don't screw this up..." I whisper to myself.

"It is so good to see you here tonight, my little lambs. The Ouran Host Club would like to bid you, welcome." Tamaki says happily.

The chandeliers light up one by one and the orchestra starts playing. The entire Host Club takes a bow.

"As always, ladies, the Host Club members are here for your entertainment." Kyoya says. "So, we invite you to dance to your hearts content. Based on her dancing skills one lucky young lady will be chosen as tonight's queen. The queen's reward, will be a passionate kiss on the cheek, from our king."

"Good luck to you, my darlings." Tamaki says with a wink.

"Haruhi, Satoshi, show some enthusiasm!" the twins say disapprovingly.

"Well, excuse us for not bein' the party type." I whine.

"We've only ever gone to the festivals held in our neighborhood park." Haruhi whines.

"I don't know if you can really consider that a 'party' or not. Well, since your already here, you might as well get yourselves something to eat. We've got quite a spread." Kyoya says.

"A spread? With... Fancy tuna?" we ask, slightly embarrassed.

Kyoya's pencil breaks.

"Fancy tuna?!" The entire club looks completely shocked.

Tamaki does a weird flip thing off of the balcony he was on and tells Kyoya to order some. Hikaru and Kaoru are hugging me and Haruhi. Haruhi and I are completely red-faced.

I mumble, "Sometimes I wonder how I put up with you damn rich jerks..."

Right now, I'm staring off into space. Until I feel myself being kidnapped.

"What?!" I shout.

I find myself over Mori's shoulder and see Haruhi over his other shoulder.

He takes us to a room where everyone but Tamaki is waiting.

"There they are!" Kaoru points out.

"You didn't have to be so forceful." Haruhi says.

"Never mind that. Go get changed." Hikaru says, shoving something into our arms.

"Yah!" Hunny says as he pushes me and Haruhi behind a curtain.

"A little accident towards the end of the night would be quite thrilling. And remember Haruhi, there's only twenty minutes until the party reaches its climax." Kyoya says. "Suzushima is already waiting for you in the classroom across the hall."

Haruhi walks out of the curtain. I do not.

"Come on Satoshi. Come out." Haruhi says.

"No. Just no. I'm in a dress. No." I say annoyed.

"Satoshi. If you don't come out, we'll force you out."

I poke my head out of the curtain, "You wouldn't..."

"We would." Haruhi says. "Anyone want to help?"

Hikaru and Kaoru have devious smirks on their faces and they walk into the curtain, pick me up by my arms and carry me out.

I stand there awkwardly in the purple and black dress that goes down to my knees. The ruffles make the skirt of it poof out a bit and there's purple ribbon tying up the front. It's not that I hate the dress I just don't think it works with me very well.

Hikaru has a tinge of pink on his cheeks when he sees me in it. This makes me feel even more awkward.

"S-stop starin' moron..." I mumble.

He snaps out of it and gets to work on my make-up. Kaoru works on Haruhi's.

When they finish we send off Haruhi.

"Wait... I just remembered something." I say slightly angry. "_Haruhi's_ going to talk to Suzushima. WHY THE HELL AM I IN THIS DAMN DRESS?!"

"Because you look so cute!" the twins laugh.

"Just you two wait... I _will_ get my revenge..." I mumble.

I don't think they heard me.

Haruhi goes to talk to Suzushima and I decide I want to change out of the dress. The downfall of my decision is that I can't remember where I put the suit I was in earlier.

"Dang it..." I mutter.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru asks.

"I can't find my other clothes and I don't wanna wear this dress..." I say.

"They're right over there." Hikaru laughs.

"Oh... Haha laugh at poor Satoshi's expense..." I say with fake tears forming.

"W-wait! We didn't mean to-"

"Just kiddin'. So, the pranksters can't take a joke?" I smirk.

"Very funny." they smirk back.

"It was, wasn't it? Hey, the twenty minutes are almost up." I hurry and change into my suit, "Let's go." I grab their wrists and pull them along.

We meet up with the club and spotlights begin to shine on Kanako and Suzushima. Cute couple.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to begin the final dance of this evening's festivities." Tamaki says then gestures to the lovely couple before us, "The last waltz of the night has been chosen by the Host Club for this couple."

The twins are eating bananas and I can't help but wonder where they got them.

"Aw... Banana..." I pout.

Then, outta who knows where, the twins hand me one.

"Yay! Banana!" I laugh.

Tamaki says, arms outstretched, "May this awkward couple be forever blessed!"

"And now it's time to announce the queen of the ball!" Hikaru says into a microphone, holding his banana peel.

"Congratulations princess Kanako Kasugasaki!" Kaoru says, also holding his banana peel.

Whoops, the banana peels disappeared!

"And for her reward a kiss on the cheek from the king!" Hikaru says.

"You ready?" Tamaki asks.

"Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki!" Kaoru says.

I stand there, appalled. Haruhi and Tamaki freak a bit.

"Kyoya did say that a little accident towards the end of the night would make the evening more thrilling for everyone." the twins say mischievously.

I start to space out and right as I come back to Earth, I see Haruhi getting her first kiss... From Kanako Kasugasaki.

_Well, whaddaya know? Her first kiss was with a girl. How did I see this comin'? _ I think to myself and smile. _Mom, I think I'll be just fine with the Host Club._


	4. Chapter 3: Beware the Physical Exams!

~Beware the Physical Exams!~

Today we're having club outside. It's really fun. The cherry blossoms are still bloomed and their fragrance puts my mind at ease.

I'm hosting with Hunny and Mori at the moment. Hunny's mixing some tea but he's overdoing it... It's splashing everywhere...

I turn to Haruhi and whisper, "Hey, uh, should we tell him?"

"Yeah, that's probably best." we go to tell him but Mori beats us to it.

"Mitsukuni, you overdid it."

Hunny gasps softly.

Oh no... This isn't good...

Just then one of the guests snatches up the tea. "I'll take it, Hunny! It looks so yummy!"

"It's just the right amount for both of us. Any more would be too much. How did you know? You never cease to amaze me!" says the other guest.

"Really?" Hunny asks, cutely excited.

Haruhi sighs and I gently tilt my head backwards.

"Haruhi, Satoshi, how're you doing? Are you having a good time?" Tamaki asks.

"When did you get there?" I ask.

"The flower viewing reception is going over quite well." he says, my question ignored. "But even so it's rather daunting to spend more time being admired than doing the admiring."

"Wow, senpai, you're blooming in more ways than one." Haruhi mutters.

"You noticed! Yes, today my beauty is quite splendorous. I'm in full bloom! I bet you'll fall for me soon." He says all sparkly and stuff.

"In what dimension?" I mumble. Haruhi elbows me in the side.

"So, Haruhi, Satoshi, have you decided your elective courses for this term?" the twins ask, stealing us from Tamaki.

"How 'bout conversational French?" Kaoru asks.

"I don't know." Haruhi says.

"I think we should all take it together. It makes sense." Hikaru says deviously.

"We are in the same class." the twins say, devilish smirks planted on their faces.

"I already speak French. What's the point in takin' it?" I mumble.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Tamaki rushes up to Haruhi and I. "Listen! I want you two to stop hanging out with those shady twins!"

"Who you calling shady?!" Hikaru shouts.

"Yeah! Take a good look at yourself, boss!" Kaoru shouts.

Before it starts to get on my nerves I decide to slip on my headphones so I can't hear anything. When I take them off, I hear the twins.

"You don't have to rush things. They're going to be found out soon enough." Hikaru says.

"Physical exams are the day after tomorrow." Kaoru says.

"Physical... Exams?" Me and Haruhi ask.

"That's right. I completely forgot." Kyoya says.

"That means... No doubt..." I start.

"They're going to know, we're really girls." Haruhi finishes.

There Tamaki sits. In a red chair. Daydreaming.

"He must be having a great daydream." Hunny says.

"He's kind of creeping me out." Hikaru mutters.

"Envious Hikaru?" Tamaki asks.

"Why would he be?" I ask.

Yet again, my comment gets ignored.

"This is all part of my strategy. While you've wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I've foreseen the outcome of this charade. Ah... This anime's obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are the main characters, so that means we're love interests."

"Yeah, so what does that make us?" Hikaru asks annoyed.

"You boys are the homosexual supporting cast." Tamaki says drawing an imaginary line on the floor. "So, please make sure that you don't step across this line."

"You've got to be kidding..." the twins sigh.

"Uh... Tamaki. Hate to break this to you... Sort of..." I say casually walking over the line, "But me and Haruhi being twins makes _us_ the main characters. So, get behind the line." I point to the line a lazy smirk casually strewn on my face.

To the emo corner he goes...

"We don't think you get it, boss." the twins sigh.

"If word gets out that Haru-chan and Sato-chan are girls, they can't be in the host club anymore!" Hunny points out. "But, I bet if they wore girl's clothes, they'd be even cuter than they are now!" He giggled.

"They used to dress like girls in middle school, right?" Hikaru wonders aloud.

"Against my will, I had to wear a skirt... Not fun..." I mumble.

"You two must have been pretty popular with the boys." Kaoru says.

"According to my research, a boy would declare their undying love to them at least once a month." Kyoya points out.

"Research?" I ask, nervously. "Anyways... Yeah. Boys used to be really annoying..."

"So, what you're saying is-" starts Hikaru.

"Boss wouldn't be able to even get near Haruhi and Satoshi." Kaoru finishes.

"But we could. Since we're in class with them all day long." The twins smirk.

"No way..." Tamaki says teary and upset.

I hear the door open and see none other than Haruhi walking in.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late I-" She gets cut off by Tamaki grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Don't worry Haruhi, Satoshi!" He says, "We're determined to hide your secrets. Nobody will find out you two are girls during tomorrow's exams. Just promise that you'll stay our beloved secret princesses!"

"Oh great..." I mumble.

"Sure." Haruhi says confused.

"You know what?" Hikaru says to Kaoru, "I think both of us would be a little peeved if we had to watch all of the guys flirt with them."

"Then that settles it." Kaoru states.

The boys then pull out a giant white board that says, "Operation: Conceal the Fujioka's Gender. A. K. A Operation: I Swear They're Boys!"

"Where'd the white board come from?" I wonder aloud.

"I don't know. Why are they so worried about this?" Haruhi asks.

We think for a moment.

"Oh! I got it!" we say, causing the boys to turn towards us.

"You guys are worried that since they're gonna know we're girls-" I start.

"We can't be hosts. Therefore we can't pay off our debts!" Haruhi finishes.

"Okay. So we've paid off about 6,000,000 leaving us both with 5,000,000 each, right?" I look to Haruhi.

"Right, so that's 10,000,000 yen. Hmm…" She says.

"Guess we'll have to come up with another way to pay you back." We state.

The twins turn to Tamaki. "Do something! The subjects don't appear to have any motivation!"

"Why'd we get stuck with such difficult heroines?" Tamaki asks. Then he turns to us. "Are you saying that you hate being hosts?! That you hate this club?!"

"To be honest, I'd have to say yes." Haruhi bluntly states.

"Completely." I nod.

Tamaki goes off to the emo corner.

"I mean, you guys aren't bad but if it gets out we're girls there's nothing we can do, right?" Haruhi points out.

"Seriously. It's not our fault that biology doesn't let us be guys!" I laugh.

"They don't seem to care either way." Hikaru says.

"Well, before we do anything else, we have to find a way to motivate them." says Kaoru.

"Fancy tuna." Mori remembers.

A spark goes through all of us.

"Oh, that's right! You didn't get to eat any during last episode's party… Did you?" Tamaki says with a blank stare angled toward us.

"Did you hear that? They've never eaten fancy tuna before. Isn't that awful?" Hikaru "whispers" to Kaoru.

"Wow, talk about a difficult childhood." Kaoru replies.

"If only Haru-chan and Sato-chan could stay in the host club, they could eat as many yummy foods as they want." Hunny says.

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi says nervously, "Just because we're poor and haven't had the stuff doesn't mean we're so much of gluttons that we'd go on fooling people about our gender just to try some fancy tuna."

Cue awkward laughing and pause.

"Are we really gonna get to try it?" I ask.

Victory for the host club…

Great… Today is the day for physical exams… I hope I don't screw this up.

A voice in the PA systems tells us to go to the clinics in our respective school buildings.

"So, what's the deal with this 'formation A' thing you guys were talking about?" Haruhi asks.

"What do they do here at Ouran for physical exams?" I ask.

"It's no different from a physical exam you'd get at any other school." Hikaru states.

"Yeah, why would a physical exam be any different for us just because we're rich?" Kaoru asks.

"Should I answer that?" I ask.

Haruhi elbows me in the side, "You're right. I guess I didn't think about that."

She opens the door and…

"What the hell is this…?" I mumble.

There are nurses and doctors lined up all fancy like and they all seem a bit too welcoming.

"Just another physical exam." Hikaru says, bored.

"The usual." Kaoru states, equally bored.

"The usual?" Haruhi asks.

"I'd hate to see their 'fancy'…" I mutter.

The twins get taken for their height measurements. Instantly clueless I completely space out until Haruhi grabs my wrist and starts pulling me, following a nurse.

We pass by Hunny and Mori and… They are dressed as doctors. Lovely.

"They stick out so bad." I say to Haruhi.

"I got those two for back-up just in case something happens." Kyoya tells us. When did he get there?

"But, why are they in doctor disguises?" Haruhi asks.

"They're just helping to set the mood." Kyoya pushes up his glasses, "Disguises make our operation feel like a real espionage mission."

"Isn't that great…" I mumble.

"Don't you think it's weird that these doctors are all so jovial and nice?" Haruhi asks.

"They're chosen by the school's chairman." Kyoya states, "This may be a school but it's also a business. Therefore he wants to keep the students happy. After all, most of the students come from prominent families with their own private doctors at home. So this is just a formality."

_These damn rich people…_ I can almost hear Haruhi thinking. Not that my thoughts aren't the same.

A slightly strange doctor passes by and accidentally bumps into Kyoya.

"I'm terribly sorry." He says.

"No problem." Kyoya says. "Huh."

"Hitachiin brothers. Would you please come with me? We're ready to do your chest measurements. You can use the area behind this curtain to undress." a nurse says politely.

"Doesn't matter to me." Hikaru says, stripping off his shirt.

"We're not shy. Who needs a curtain?" Kaoru says, mimicking his brother's actions.

First thought in my head: _Holy… Two hot guys stripping in front of fangirls… This could get bad._

"See Haruhi, Satoshi? A rather impressive turn out today." Kyoya smiles. "Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies."

"No doubt…" I mumble.

We look back at the twins.

"I won't allow it. It's just not fair. I won't let those doctors touch you, Kaoru." Hikaru says.

"What are you talking about? You don't seem to have a problem touching me when we play doctor at home." Kaoru says, "I can't get you to stop tickling me and toying with my body."

Whilst everyone is distracted Hunny and Mori shove us behind a curtain.

"Come on, this way." Hunny says.

I land safely on my ass. Haruhi however gets trapped in someone's arms. Tamaki. Shocker? I think not.

"I've been waiting for you, my princess." he tells Haruhi.

"Tamaki-senpai." Haruhi mumbles as she steps away from him and sits on the floor next to me.

"You're so cute when you're surprised!" Tamaki gives a little laugh.

"Haha…" I laugh nervously, "Ya creep…"

Instead of paying attention to his creepiness over Haruhi, I dig through my pockets.

"Oh, iPod… You shall save me once more…" I mumble, hitting play.

About two minutes later: Haruhi's pissed, Tamaki's got a brown wig on, the twins are laughing, and I'm being dragged off to the special boys' clinic, highly confused.

"Wait, Haru-chan! Why were the twins laughing?" I ask.

"Idiocy. Pure Idiocy." she mumbles.

I'm still confused and I really think that if I find out, I'll only be more confused. Oh well.

We get to the Special Boys' Clinic and are told to disrobe behind a pink curtain.

When we start undressing, I get the strangest feeling that something interesting will happen. That's when the unknown, and slightly frightening, doctor comes in.

"Excuse me…" Haruhi mumbles nervously.

The doctor guy rushes over, putting his hand over her mouth. "No! Please! It's not what you think!"

"Haruhi!" a male voice shouts, "Tama-chan KICK!" Tamaki kicks the weird doctor into the wall.

"One," the twins appear behind me, "Good looks that attract the public eye."

"Two, more wealth than you can imagine." Kyoya shows through the shadows.

"Three, chivalry that will never be able to overlook-" Mori starts.

"The hideous wickedness of this world." Hunny finishes.

"That's what makes up the Ouran Host Club!" Tamaki shouts.

Before I can realize, the entire club is standing behind Haruhi and I.

"We're here. Watch out!" they all say in unison.

The doctor guy is freaking out, "D-don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" he bows.

"Uh… 'Kay?" I mumble.

I feel a hand and some cloth on my shoulder. When I look up, I see Hikaru grabbed my shirt and made sure I wasn't just in the black tank top I always wear. Huh… Protecting a friend, I guess.

Then suddenly, it's the doctor's life story. YAY. He runs a small clinic, always accepts I.O.U.s, wife and daughter left. What is this? A shojo anime?

"Doctor Yabu, I think you may have the wrong place." Kyoya states.

"Does your daughter go to Ouran_Public_High School?" I can't help but ask.

"Yeah, that's right." he says.

"Oops. Wrong school, dude." I tell him.

"This is Ouran_Academy_. A private institution. Your daughter doesn't go here." Kyoya explains.

"Man. That's pretty sad. You don't even know what school your daughter goes to?" Hikaru asks.

"I bet your relationship is messed up because you don't pay attention to her. Not because of some stupid dept." explains Kaoru.

"Wow Kyo-chan! I'm impressed that you figured out he had the wrong school!" Hunny compliments.

"Well, there's no way the daughter of a small town doctor would ever get into OuranAcademy." Kyoya smirks.

"What if mine and Haruhi's dad is a small town doctor?!" I ask, offended.

"Is he?"

"No…" I accept my defeat.

Tamaki then decides to help him find his daughter. My respect for him before: 10%. My respect for him now: 40%. He's raising the stakes here. Good job, blondie.

"Um… Sorry about this guys… But… Can you please leave?" Haruhi asks.

They freak. Are we leaving the Host Club?! Are we mad at them?!

"Of course not, geniuses." I laugh.

"We have to finish our physical exams." Haruhi and I smile at them, "As male students."

"Not for food, though." I say.

"We're doing this to repay our debts!" Haruhi grins at them.

They all rejoice, Tamaki tackles Haruhi, all is good.

"Seriously though. Get out." I say, bluntly.

Tamaki accidentally touches Haruhi in an inappropriate place.

"Hey! Don't touch me there!" she shouts.

"Red card!" the twins yell.

"Looks like Tamaki-senpai-" Hikaru starts.

"Is the real pervert!" Kaoru finishes.

"Who cares?! Just get out!" Haruhi yells.

"Please! Just leave!" I shout.


End file.
